im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
