why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
