i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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