An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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