They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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