You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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