the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
