if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm too high and old for this...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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