why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
