Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
