i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
