from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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