Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
