I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
