Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
