Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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