i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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