if you like me you must not know who I am
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize