My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
