I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
