I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
