Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize