If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
