There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
