Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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