I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
