the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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