Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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