Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
