TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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