i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
