I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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