she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We named our party play list daddy issues
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
