I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
