Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize