I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
