I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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