alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
