dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
