So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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