We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
