do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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