stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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