I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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