How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
