thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
