ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
