Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
