I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
