I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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