What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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