Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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