so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize