Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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