Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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