I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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