no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
