he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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