seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
