im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
