FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
